Tuesday, November 30, 2010

More Iguana the Another White Meat

I got a call today for iguana meat.  I don't sell iguana meat.  I may have passed on an excellent entrepreneurial endeavor.  You can order frozen iguana for $50 plus a pound if you are a lunatic.  Here, they literally fall from the trees.  They are pretty tasty too.  If you live near D.C. you can get frozen iguana for about $10 a pound if you know somebody and $15 a pound if you don't.  So I may look into getting an iguana harvesting permit.  They are invasive you know.

What I didn't know was that many Central American's considered iguana "better than Viagra."  It supposedly cures about anything.  I know of a few Mexicans that get an iguana every now and then just to get lucky.  So iguana may be an aphrodisiac as well.  I have already turned down a few iguana fishing trips because some PITA types think they should be protected or something.  Well, if Alicia Silverstone wants to come down here and get naked to stop me, I may think about it.  Until then, I am thinking about starting Conch Republic Iguana Safaris.

With the current unemployment situation here in the Keys and being an unofficial member of the Marathon homeless community, I could hire a few guys to collect iguanas for frozen meat sales.  Selling the frozen meat is a problem since I would have to get all kinds of licenses and permits to do it legally.  As a safari guide I can whack them and send the meat home just like fish.  Hook and line iguana harvesting is about as exciting as it gets so it should be an adventure for most vacationers not affiliated with PITA.  I will have to get property owner permission for iguana hunt/fishing expeditions on private docks.  With any luck I can get a permit for the Key Deer sanctuary on Big Pine Key.  Hunting for iguana in the sanctuary can be real exciting when the Key Deer are in rut as a fat boy on Youtube found out.

Then again, shipping iguana meat without a license is a federal offense.  After checking out the Bureau of Prisons national menu, I could learn a new trade, get free health care and eat pretty good until the economy picks up again.  So if the money is right, I could start taking orders right away.

Fishing wise, everything is pretty normal.  The Spanish Mackerel in the Bay are off the hook right now.  Mangrove snapper are every where.  Muttons are more challenging, but good sized.  Sailfish are close and hungry.  Offshore has been closed for a while due to the wind, so no reports there. 

Marathon in the Florida Keys should be your next fishing vacation destination. Join us for charter fishing, fishing guide trips or our fishing 101 so you can fish on your own with better success.

Tight lines,

Capt. Dallas

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

It's the Keys

I started off this morning planning to revise the local restaurant section now that season is getting closer.  Wifi access was to be  part of the reviews since many like to check their emails.  That got shot to heck so I will give it another shot Friday.  Some of the places I visited today are adding internet access so the list will be better anyway.

I got a couple of calls about a friend planning to get married.  Just as I was planning my intervention, they decided they want me to perform the ceremony.  I have never performed a ceremony sober, so I may need to get tuned up for the event.  They are planning on having it at  bar after all.

I fished last Saturday.  The wind was against the current so it was slow on the reef.  We caught enough mangroves for dinner, but the bait did not want to play.  That messed up our chance for sailfish.  The sailfish are pretty thick right now but a little finicky about the bait they want.  Live ballyhoo is the ticket most of the time.  For something heavier I found a bunch of good size jacks for them to play with plus a 'cuda.  Since they lost a good many big fish I may redo my post on braided line again.  Braid don't make a light rod heavy.

The leg hung in there good so I am back on the clock until I screw something else up.  Everything is wide open until December, then I have a few scatter trips scheduled.  The economy is still messing with a lot of people.  If you are planning on running up your credit card bills before filing bankruptcy, we have some great fishing deals.  Just remember that the Keys are really a part of the United States, so the IRS and a good many lawyers know how to track you down.  I have a standing offer for any IRS guys to come down fishing.  With penalties and interest for losing fish it should be a win win kinda thing.  I prefer not to fish with lawyers since they already know most of my jokes.

Marathon in the Florida Keys should be your next fishing vacation destination. Join us for charter fishing, fishing guide trips or our fishing 101 so you can fish on your own with better success.

Tight lines,

Capt. Dallas